This is what im sending to my bestfriend.. I care soo much about him but I can’t have him being like this in my life. He has selfharmed and been suicidal so he says he understands but if he understood then he wouldn’t keep getting mad when I fuck up every once and awhile.. So just whatever for now.
- Him: you were happy when you were living with me though..
- Me: well yeah, you helped me escape the loneliness, cuddling all the time and shit really helped me, not being at home with my horrible family who blame me for everything helped me, but going from being that happy to being alone every single second, getting yelled at constantly.. Yeah, no more happy times for me
I can’t fucking handle this, I need to end it all right now omg.. How could I of been so stupid fuckfuckfuckfuck
My cutting isn’t as bad as it was before… Since I stopped for about two months it’s not as bad. Yet. I’m going to let it get bad again, this time I won’t let him stop me because he won’t know.
I was so scared for this spring break and now I know why
She knows I have bad depression, and we were drunk at the party obviously.. but she got pissed and yelled at me to go kill myself already and all of this other mean shit..
It was such a fucking trigger since Im only two weeks clean of cutting.. some other stuff happened and apparently Im a bad friend, im a bitch, slut, whore, backstabber and a drama starter
Really? I haven’t done anything at all.. oh well!
Hate this feeling.. want to cut so bad..
- Two of my friends: Its weird. You look so happy and like... normal. And then you tell me some of the shit that's happened in your life and I just dont understand how you can act so well. You act like absolutely nothing bad has happened to you. How do you do it because I would love to be able to act happy..
- Me: I dont know. Ive just been acting happy since I was about 7. I have learnt that basically no one gives a fuck about me. No one needs to know my problems, theres no need for me to explain whats bothering me if I know It cant be fixed - and even if it can be fixed I usually dont want it to be fixed.